No matter what does or does not get done, a week from today we'll be on a plane flying to Amsterdam and then on to Boston.
Some folks might think I ought to be overjoyed at that fact. Some might wonder why we came to live here in the first place.
It keeps me on my toes trying to read the reaction I'm likely to get and how to respond in such a way that none of the some folks think I'm nuts.
We moved to the Czech Republic in a way by default. Curt retired from 30 years in pastoral ministry and wanted to devote more time to the Ephesians 2:10 ministry God opened for us through Lifework Forum. As we were looking for a location to be closer to those we'd come to love, the Father took us to option #4 Prague.
Our loving Father delivered our flat in three days and our furniture in five months. We came to know and love the city of Prague, for her sights and pace but mostly her people. I hear the City of 100 Spires has a way of doing that. I just know that as my friend Blanka said to me a couple of days ago, "You look young and healthy and energetic. I think Prague is good for you."
And then the shock of the letter from the insurance company canceling Curt's policy days before we returned, thereby invalidating his resident visa. We came to seek our Father's will and the evidence was obvious, time to let go of this setting.
We began meeting with as many friends as we could to let them know our news personally. One by one we shared and cried, received their tears and prayers on our behalf, committed together to ask the Father to bring us back to Praha according to His will.
We said good-bye to our brothers and sisters at the little church we've been attending, receiving a fair amount of questions and tears. As we were about to leave the pastor came to me, held my hands firmly, looked into my eyes, and said, "Sandra, you came and really loved the people around you. You have accomplished your mission here. You are not a failure."
I'm not sure how he knew failure was the very thing I was struggling with, may struggle with for some time yet. But there it was, my relief spoken before the seen and the unseen world.
You see, one of my fallback strategies when anything goes wrong is to figure out what I did to cause the problem. How did I mess up to short-circuit the success of a project or process? So of course it's natural for me to think I'm the reason we're being sent home, especially in such a surprising way.
Thankfully my Abba Father loves me too much to let me suffer in agony needlessly. If you read the recent posts here you'll catch a glimpse of the way He's been ministering to my aching soul. His tender mercies and loving kindness bring the warm reassurance I so desperately need.
Recently His compassionate wooing became even more intense.
It was a day I admit/confess that I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. That what-did-I-do-wrong mindset was in full swing. I kept going over and over the decision to come, the 2+ years of living and loving, serving in Prague.
Right then, in the middle of my swirling thoughts, my loving Abba reminded me.
Come to Me.
The very exercises He'd been showing me caught me and brought me back to Him.
As I responded in obedience it was as if God were whispering to me in that tender, intense intimacy I've come to know is His voice.
"Sandra, there's a lot more going on here than you can see. I asked you to come and live in Prague to show forth my presence - to make a home that's a sanctuary, to care for the people I bring to you and to whom I bring you. It's okay. You've done what I've asked of you."
I felt as if I were hearing that pronouncement I long for on That Great Day, "Well done, good and faithful servant." My spirit soared and my whole body relaxed. My offering is acceptable. Hallelujah
I still have only an inkling about what the very near future holds; a conference in Ohio and some time in Maine. The way ahead is just about as foggy as it can be, but God is not only orchestrating it. He's also leading me forward while standing beside me. What more could a lady ask?
May the Lord Almighty, the Lover of your soul, grant you such sweet reassurance and peace in the call He's placed on your life. Amen